perjantai 20. tammikuuta 2017


dystopia (from the Greek δυσ- and τόπος, alternatively, cacotopia, kakotopia, or simply anti-utopia) is a community or society that is undesirable or frightening. It is translated as "not-good place", an antonym of utopia, a term that was coined by Sir Thomas More and figures as the title of his most well-known work, Utopia (the blueprint for an ideal society with minimal crime, violence and poverty). Dystopian societies appear in many artistic works, particularly in stories set in the future. Some of the most famous examples are George Orwell's 1984 and Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Dystopias are often characterized by dehumanization, totalitarian governments, environmental disaster, or other characteristics associated with a cataclysmic decline in society. Dystopian societies appear in many subgenres of fiction and are often used to draw attention to real-world issues regarding society, environmentpoliticseconomicsreligionpsychologyethicsscience, and/or technology. Some authors however also use the term to refer to actually-existing societies, many of which are or have been totalitarian polities, or societies in an advanced state of collapse and disintegration. An attempt to draw together and compare both the fictional and real dystopias has been made in Gregory Claeys's Dystopia: A Natural History (Oxford University Press, 2016). Wikipedia

I don´t actually know what to say. I have been feeling so empty this past week. I was out with my best friend and we went to a club, I was so happy and I really felt true joy when I saw her dance, she never dances. But then something hit me, so many people, with so many emotions, it was just too much. Now I feel isolated and at the same time I miss people and energy. 
Every time these kind of feelings hits me, it is so confusing. What do I really feel? Who I really am? What I even want to do? Do I really exist? 
Some how dystopia makes me feel peace, the whole world seem so chaotic at the moment and I always reason it even more chaotic in my head. I try to find different sides of everything, analyze things and find beauty in ugliness. People. You make me feel crazy and sane at the same time. I don´t know does that even make any sense.

My whole life and existence seems so.. beyond. I am lifted from being just some material, I feel like I am part of everything and still nothing. Everything seems to have a deeper meaning and it matters. Still it doesn´t. At all. Nothing does. Does it?
All I want to do is make people happy. But if I can´t even make myself happy, how do I do that? I am so done being depressed. I miss me. After I realized how much I changed last year, I have only wanted my old self back. Although before last year, I hated me. But what I actually hate, is being feelingless. I love being super loud, super happy, super smiley. I want to dance, make my friends laugh and tell random people why they are awesome. I love giving unbirthday gifts, do good things without any reason, speak stuff that doesn´t make any sense. I love life. I love love.

So maybe I should. Starting today (again) I do stuff that makes me happy, so I can YOU guys happy too! Seeing all shades of blue, while being blue.

tiistai 3. tammikuuta 2017

New year resolutions

I am going trough last years pictures and videos, I am making new video diary series, now that I have already shooted everything (episode every week!). I am missing my nails from last spring.. and my long straight red and black hair. My hair is all black now, because I messed up my dyes, damn it! But it will come back soon, I have already bought new silver colors, can´t wait to show you my new style soon!

Last year was very difficult for me, many people left from my life, but I got so many new ones and the old best ones, well they are the best for reason right? I feel the change in me. I am def not the same person I was before. Trust is the main thing these days. I am still super open for my best friends, but other people, opening up is so hard. I can just feel the words and feeling coming up and then.. nothing. I just can´t anymore. Maybe it is a good thing. I am not that type of "normal" finn, I always do what I want, speak everything that comes in mind, I love hugging even strangers and helping is my thing. So maybe, becoming more adult I guess, I can finally understand people who aren´t that open to others. I don´t, still, never want to become cold and selfish, I just couldn´t. If there is so much bad in the world, karma always get its way and there are always someone who´s day you can bright.. yeah, I don´t want become cold, never. So my new years resolution is to become more like me. Again. Love life, love people, love animals, love nature, do the stuff I love the most. I feel better already just thinking about this!

Corset: Sanna Von Steam
Jeans: Spirit store

What else..
  • I want FAM to grow, 
  • I want my own pages to grow.. 
  • I want to get passport and get at least one time in my life go pass my fear of going further from Finland.
  • I will pass one other fear from my never ending list (last year it was the horses)
  • I want to go music festival with my friends
  • Medieval festival also!
  • I will go Tracon with my bestest friends and have uber time
  • More concerts and gigs
  • I will keep my home clean (haha I wish!)
  • We will go more to our summerhouse this summer and I will start my summer garden
  • I will start my herb kitchen
  • More plants in the bedroom
  • Spring cleaning and new balcony 
  • BatFit 2017 will be wicked
  • I pay my loans, all of them (how adult but they stress me a lot)
  • I will full my arms with tattoos (oh yeah!)
  • Do things like I want them to do and stop please people
  • Start streaming games on Twitch and Youtube
  • Do vlogging and Youtube at least once a week
  • Blog at least once a week
  • Paint and draw more

torstai 13. lokakuuta 2016

PunkRave, you rock my world

I am super happy to tell you my new blog collab PunkRave Store. I thought this would be great chance to show few outfit ideas I have had in planned for the future and PunkRave was on my planned wishlist, so this is just like meant to be happened! The brand combines so many style together that I like, it even has awesome mens clothing (so classy by the way!). So let´s get few outfits together, few wishlist items and details about things that are in in general fashion and in my personal life.

Outfit 1 

When the new Mad Max movie came out, the whole world went wild for apocalyptic style. Dystopia, ripped clothes, leather, dusty look has always appealed to me. Loose and tight clothes together combines with the way that always looks good. At the same time you feel like you are save from the world, look badass, it is also so comfy style to use. I once had ripped knitted shirt but I threw it away thinking I don´t need it anymore.. and now I have searched new one, that is just right. I think this would be great for every day use. And because red is my color, I really need these leggins/pants. They are just the right dusty red color I would like to use on my apocalyptic style. With some badass boots, this look is a killer.

Outfit 2

Lets face it, this short leather jacket with tassels, rivets and hood just screams my name, "wear me at bars and photoshoots"! I already see myself using it with tight leather pants or ripped jeans. And I would totally use high heels or wedges, leather kinds of course, with studs maybe. And I would use my leather stud bag which is my favorite bag at the moment when I go outside. I am just beyond words with this jacket and how many jeans and pants there are at PunkRave that I want.. Like the ones on the right with lacing all the on the front. Just gorgeous.

Little Morticia Addams style would be good add to my closet. I love these 2 looks, just timeless classic goth. Left to the fancy events and right for witching hour.

These I just want to use for looking gorgeous and fab.

What can I say? Boleros are my thing right now. Fluffy and lace too. Maybe it is the fall, you just need to get them both to use.

Collars haven´t never been my thing before. But after watching Once upon a time so much, I really would like to look like Regina. Every kind of of big collar would do the trick. Every girl needs a chance to be evil queen once in their life.. right?
Batty ponchos has been going all around internet for years and I still don´t own any, why is that?! I already see myself flabbing my arms up and down and pretend that I can fly and embarrass my friends repeating "look I am a bat!"... yeah.
 And capes.. who would have enough capes..? I already have satin version but I want lace and velvet and.. well.. every kind and color there is.

Well, what are your experiences with PunkRave? Do you think they are just as gorgeous as I think? What would you like to get from there? What do you like to use when autumn kicks in and your mind is all about Halloween and candles with hot tea, warm blankets, layering outfits, up coming winter wanting you just stay inside..?